Marsha Vanwynsberghe

Life Adversity Coach

WE’RE NOT MEANT TO DO THIS ALONE

I’ve spent so many years being a fighter. Whenever I was backed in a corner, or pushed to my limits I would dig in and fight my way out. I was known as the “strong one” and truth be told it I thought it was a “badge of honour”.

I would judge others who gave up or asked for help thinking, why don’t they just try harder? I always thought “I don’t need any help!” I think deep down I couldn’t dare ask for help, because what would others think of me?

Spoiler alert.....I was dead wrong.

I learned to be vulnerable, to reach out and ask for help because I didn’t know how to manoeuvre my way through life anymore.

I learned the hard way that trying to do it alone, carrying it all on my shoulders only kept me stuck in the same spot.

Reaching out, being honest, asking for help, brought some of the most incredible people in my life. I was ready to ask for help AND I was ready to receive the help. Complaining that no one was there wasn’t the answer. I had to be ready to reach out, ask and receive.

When I catch myself in a low point or frustration I ask my tribe for help. It’s a give and take and they know they can call on me when they need support too.

Over the past week I’ve had some heavy issues on my heart. Everything is ok, just one of those periods of time where life is heavy. What I’ve experienced in the last few days has been an incredible experience that I am truly grateful for. Friends who reached out without even asking because “they had a feeling something was up”. That is the sign of a true tribe. For each of you that reached out over the past few days, offered support, a listening ear and a kick in the butt, I am truly grateful for all of you. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone and not meant to do this life alone. None of us are!

The moral of my story...allow yourself to be vulnerable, to be real, to connect with your tribe on a deep level that might even make you uncomfortable. On the other side of that ride of vulnerability you will encounter the kind of connection that you can rely on when you need a pick me up from life.

If you don’t have that level of tribe in your life, then commit to creating it by put what you want out into the universe. Ask for it, be more of what you’re looking for in the world. Be more compassionate, give more kindness and grace. Give it to people where your give matches their give. The best relationships are a give and take, share and don’t judge and showing up asking your friend, “how can I help”.

Be more, give more of what you want to create and receive in this world. You may just find what you’ve been looking for all along.

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#lovemytribe #gratitude #werenotmeantodothisalone #vulnerability

KNOW WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR

Over the last few years coaching changed the game for me. I found and worked with a number of mentors who helped me to see what was possible, how to change my beliefs and grow my courage.

Honestly I wouldn’t be where I am today without a number of incredible people who all came into my life at the right times....when I was ready and open to see it.

This led me to sharing my story, speaking on multiple stages, writing and publishing a best selling book, collaborating and running a Women’s empowerment event and coaching many individuals and groups this past year.

It’s time to step up my game. I’m ready. Nothing is as important as creating a legacy of people who are stepping into their power and impacting the lives of others. That’s the ripple effect I want to and intend on creating.

NOW LET’S BE CLEAR

If you’re looking for someone to:

  • Hold your hand and tell you it’s all going to be ok.....that’s not me
  • Keep you safe and inside your comfort zone....that’s not me.
  • Complain to or to stay in the same space, not grow or change....that’s not me.

If you’re looking for someone to:

  • Call you out on your own BS story that you keep telling yourself....that is me
  • Nudge, support and encourage you to grow, to leap at opportunities and be so in tune with your instinct that you chase the energy....that is me.
  • Hold you accountable to create results, to own your story, stand on it and write a brand new ending...that is me.

I’m not for everyone and I’m more than ok with that. Trust me. I am here to serve the people who are so ready to change their story, grow, expand and leave a big imprint in this world. Those are my people.

In the month of January I am working with 3 more coaching clients who are ready to own their BS story and bust through the limits they’ve set on their life. If it’s your time, and you’re ready let’s connect. Programs starting January 8th. . . .

#coaching #whenshestoppedaskingwhy #timetogrow #2018 #thebigleap

#stepup

SHAME ONLY GROWS WHEN YOU FEED IT

Everyone has felt shame or experienced shame on some level. For some people it’s an inconvenience and for some it’s a debilitating vice grip.

I recently read a quote from Brene Brown that said;

BreneBrownQuote.jpeg

As a past recovering perfectionist i can relate all too well. I fought the shame cycle when we dealt with teen substance abuse in our home. I won’t blame the shame on my kids. It was my shame for being a mother who couldn’t fix what was going on in her family.

I had this ridiculous mindset and belief that I was responsible for everything that happened in our household and if anything was wrong “of course” it was my job to fix it.

So basically I told myself I am responsible for everything good or bad and my personal value was determined by being able to fix anything and everything.

Seems reasonable right?

One problem is that I know I’m not alone in this thinking. How many moms can or will say they’ve felt this way before? ️️️

Since I couldn’t meet my expectations, I felt like a failure and the only solution I had left was to hide. All that did was FEED my shame and keep the cycle going.

    X Shame loves secrecy and closed doors.
    X Shame loves hiding, blame and embarrassment.
    X Shame loves it when we stop talking and isolate ourselves from the world.
    X Shame loves judgement, guilt and pain. It all keeps shame alive and growing.
    X Shame doesn’t like words, it doesn’t like sharing and it doesn’t like us speaking up.

That’s too bad for shame because I’m here to speak up, show up and help others to do the same.

If we want to change the shame cycle and the emphasis we place on shame, we have to speak, talk and share our stories.

That is how we can create a shift in our lives and learn to let go of our shame, and anything else that doesn’t serve us. One word and one sentence at a time. Imagine that ripple effect and the feeling of freedom that is possible?

Who else is ready to speak up and push shame to the curb?

I know I am!

THE PICTURE OF GRATITUDE

“Trade your expectations for appreciation and the world changes instantly”
~ Tony Robbins

This was not always my mindset or perspective on gratitude. For years I struggled with finding any gratitudes. 

My life plan was not following any plan and in fact it was falling apart. Our family was being torn apart by teen substance abuse. In fact whenever anyone mentioned “being grateful” it ticked me off. 

My thoughts were too busy being full of fear, anger, frustration and pain. Gratitude cannot survive in the presence of any of those words. 

No wonder I couldn’t find gratitude. My life was consumed by all of those negative words. My thoughts were in a vicious spiral of replaying past events and fearing for the future of everyone in our family. 

The only way I could find gratitude was to stop the spiral of toxic thoughts and focus on the present moment. That was the only moment I could control. At the time it was terrifying! 

One moment, one thought, one shift in mindset and eventually it added up to a complete shift in perspective. It wasn’t easy, it wasn’t fast, yet it was exactly what I needed to do. It changed everything. 

This picture is a reminder of the power of gratitude. I vividly remember this point of the day in our event, The Inspired Life Project. I was SO full of gratitude for all for the women who participated in this transformational day. As I look at that picture I am reminded of the power of perspective and of intention. I remember saying “thank you” for this “idea” that came together better than I could have imagined. 

When you find yourself stuck in a negative spiral, stop and say “thank you for ..........”.  Say it over and over again. If you can’t find anything simply inhale and exhale and say thank you

When you learn to breathe, speak and live in gratitude for even the tiniest things, your world will shift right in front of your eyes. 

My hope is that you can experience that transformation in your thoughts and mindset. It is truly the window to a much more beautiful world. One that is waiting for you. 
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#thepowerofgratitude #saythankyou
#momentofgratitude 
#intention #mindset #tonyrobbins #theinspiredlifeproject

The Inspired Life Project Gratitude pic post.jpg

Growth Always Comes First!!

I love personal development and it has always been part of my life. Everything from reading, workshops, and choosing to surround myself with people who push the boundaries of their comfort zone. It was inspiring and motivating. I’ve always felt that life was about growth and change.

To be honest, I would struggle with keeping that level of inspiration in my daily life, which is why I would continue to engage and experience this kind of training. It’s important yet I eventually realized I was missing the point.

When life took many difficult twists and turns that I never saw coming (FYI no one ever does), I spent a lot of time stuck. I was stuck in fear, the judgment of others and in the despair of not knowing what to do next. All that time of being stuck I truly went no where. I was frozen in time and feeling very hopeless. I didn’t like being in that space. I realized that all that time in personal growth, motivation and inspiration was great, at the time. The missing piece was that I actually had to GROW. I couldn’t read about it or talk about it. It wasn’t a temporary fix. I actually had to DO IT.

Once I decided to look inward, figure out what I could do to change my response to what life had given me, everything shifted. I felt a sense of internal power and control. Not power over the situation (that’s the ego’s way of keeping us stuck), simply internal power and control over myself, my thoughts, beliefs, actions, and reactions. I realized I had far more choices than I realized. That was how my life started to shift and move forward. Everything around me shifted as well. It really all starts with recognizing that we have a choice and that the WORK starts inside first.

Now I’m thrilled to be teaching others how to do the same. It’s not about watching our life go by, being a victim with no choices, options or control. It’s about seizing the moment, choosing to grow because we know that there’s more for us to do with our lives. Our lives are about far more than ourselves. We are here to grow into more so we can make a difference in other people’s lives as well. That’s leaving a legacy. It’s about using what we’re given to impact others and work to make the world a better place. We are not in this alone.

Imagine what could happen if we all chose to live more into our purpose instead of settling and being a victim. The potential ripple effect gives me goose bumps! It can all shift today by recognizing that we have a choice and we’re ready to grow!! ‪

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What if we change the context of the word FEAR?

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