When I look back and reflect over the past 6 years and especially this past year, I realize that I have been in GO mode for most of that time. When I wasn’t searching for answers, I was planning my talks from the stage, coordinating events, writing programs, coaching others, and writing and publishing a book. It feels like I’ve run at one speed....GO!!
The past few weeks have been challenging as I’ve witness people very close to me battle against some extremely unfair and painful circumstances. The air has been heavy and filled with moments of sadness. It’s taken a lot of physical effort and energy to shift my mindset to focus on the positive.
I’ve also opened a massive can of worms by talking about a topic that very few people want to discuss.
Talking openly about teen substance abuse brought people out of the woodwork who are finally realizing they’re not alone in their stories. It has left me feeling unsure about what to do with all of my emotions.
Truthfully I’ve wanted to curl up under a blanket and hide because I felt so raw and exposed.
I do know that this is exactly what I asked for when I started on this path. I’m going to call it a “Vulnerability Hangover”. It helps my science brain to call it something specific.
Since releasing my book, I’ve dissected my feelings, (likely over-dissected them), trying to make sense of these heavy emotions.
I know that there are times in life where our mind needs stillness and quiet. I also know that our body processes emotions through movement.
This is where the yang and yin of life flow together. Our bodies are always asking us to listen. We can’t push without recharging. We can’t propel forward without first being pulled backwards.
I am humble enough to admit that I don’t have it all figured out. I am always learning, growing and I’m a constant work in progress.
For now I will plug into my softer side, give myself some space, and not judge my activity or progress. For today I will simply listen and that will be enough. I will be content with where I am right now. I will fall into gratitude because that always shifts the feelings of overwhelm and brings my mind to the present moment.
When we give more to ourselves we can continue to give more to others. Life is not a race, it is a journey, a crazy, beautiful magical one.