Marsha Vanwynsberghe

Life Adversity Coach

What are your Non-Negotiables?

I have learned over time and through experience that my day has to have non-negotiables in it in order for me to function at my best. I’ve learned this lesson the hard way, by crashing and burning and being in a place where my health was at serious risk.  I am definitely not perfect at it….I am a constant work in progress.
For the past few years I continued to give from a cup that was dry. Maybe a few dribbles left, but I didn’t take the time to consistently fill my own cup. After seeing Lisa Nichols live and learning that we were supposed to give to others from the overflow of our cup, it finally clicked. I could no longer throw a few token drops into my cup once in a while and expect to function, and then be angry with myself because I couldn’t perform. Talk about setting myself up for disappointment and living with constant frustration!!

I decided to really listen to what I needed. Life was out of control during this time. So I had to listen very carefully to what I needed!

I started to make my cup a priority. I listened to the cues of what made me feel good and what didn’t. It wasn’t hard to figure out when I truly paid attention to how I was feeling.

I developed a list of non-negotiables that I needed to function at my optimum….because why would I want to function at less than that? This is what worked for me:

• Daily guided meditation, sometimes multiple times a day to ground my thoughts back into the present. Sometimes focusing on 5-10 mins of breathing to slow my thoughts down.

• Daily reading, journaling and personal development

• Hot yoga, this became a Godsend for me to slow down and ground my thoughts into the present. Plus the heat helps me to get through the winter.

• Exercise in general, moving daily in some manner. Strength training, cardio, yoga, Pilates, any combo.

• Making sleep a priority instead of an inconvenience.

• Choosing to surround myself only with people who lift me up, encourage and support me and remind me to stay the course. I am forever grateful for my inner circle of friends. They absolutely ROCK!!

• Clean nutrition and supplementation. This is my absolute non-negotiable. This is my secret weapon for how I’ve been able to handle the stress of the last few years and I am forever grateful for this in my life!

It is a daily work in progress. Every day is different and is a moving target. When I’m feeling “off”, I go back to my non-negotiables and I’m reminded that I’m feeling the way I am because I’m not following my own guidelines. I’m not perfect at all. I am more aware of what I need to function at my best, what I need to be productive, and what I need to fill and overflow my cup.

I decided to give TO myself first and not just give OF myself. Again it’s not always easy. It is what grounds me in chaos, and what brings me back on track.

I have a lot of things that I want to accomplish and achieve in life. I want to speak, write and coach others on how to make themselves a priority in their life and how to move forward when their life is in chaos. It is possible! I’ve just started this journey and it is definitely filling my cup.

My wish is that you will be able to find your non-negotiables and fill your cup too!! What are your non-negotiables?