Marsha Vanwynsberghe

Life Adversity Coach

You Can’t Find Clarity….Clarity Finds You

 Clarity is a scary word. It’s part of everything we do or do not do all day long. In our jobs, our personal and professional lives, in our emotions, and in our goals for the future. Clarity is one of the first stepping stones to outline our direction…the path we are supposed to follow.

Without clarity, how do we possibly know if we’re on the right path? How do we know if we’re making the right choices? We tend to rely on our perceptions of what we think we should do or what we think others think we should do. If you’re part of the minority, you’ve learned to listen to yourself to find clarity. You’ve found a way to tap into, listen to and trust your own gut instinct.

How do you learn to listen to yourself when all you can make out is the noise inside of your head all day long?   The noise has a tendency to be so constant that you can’t even hear what it’s saying. It sounds like a radio playing only static with a random vague clip of music. You can keep turning the volume up, but until you clear the static you won’t be able to tell what song is playing.

You must clear a path from the noise to the voice so you can hear it. If you can’t hear your own voice and your own message, you will be left with relying on everyone else’s voice to make YOUR decisions.

You don’t mean to. You’re very capable of making your own decisions. You just can’t get to that place of listening to and trusting what your gut wants you to do. There’s too much muck, noise and chaos to get to the root of it. There’s too many “what ifs” and “how will it look” and “what will others think of me?” that get in the way of you actually making a decision.

You cannot find clarity. You have to create a path, space and freedom for clarity to find you. You have to be open for this process to occur. You have to want to create room for the answers to come to you. If you’d rather choose a life of living in fear of the unknown, living with all of the “what if’s” swirling around in your head, then you can search forever because clarity won’t ever find you.

You have to be ready, open and willing to find the path to clarity.

You have to decide that you do want to experience change in your life.

You have to commit that you want to or don’t want to stay where you are at in this moment.

You have to choose that your values, who you are and your purpose, are far more important than what others will think of you.

Creating a path for clarity takes a few key steps. This barely scratches the surface yet it’s a place to start.  —

• Choose NOT to live in overwhelm. Journal, write your goals, break the tasks down, focus on the present moment and the actions that you’re taking everyday. Are these actions going to illicit any change or will they keep you exactly where you are? Clearing a path, creating space for flow and choosing not to live in the past or the future will be the first step to releasing the overwhelm. Besides staying in overwhelm protects and prevents you from even trying to create change. It’s safer to stay here than to move forward and get hurt or possibly fail.

• Knowing your core values, who you are, what you’re about is the start to understanding what makes you tick. What lights up your life? What is your passion? What are your non-negotiables? What will you not compromise on? When you become crystal clear on your core values, you will find that every single decision will be so much easier to make. Because you’ve decided to be true to you.

• Get the thoughts out of your head. Write down your thoughts, say them out loud, record your voice….whatever it is you have to do to get the thoughts out of your mind. Once you take your thoughts out of the hamster wheel, you can start to assess them for what they are….just thoughts.  Stop spending far too much time living in the past, in the future and planning for all the things that could go wrong. I guarantee you haven’t given even a fraction of that time and energy to living today. Getting the thoughts out of your head starts to create a clearing for clarity to find you.

Settling the mind, slowing down, embracing the quiet and learning to live in the present will create the space for you to listen. Visualize the path. See the flow of ideas. Remind yourself how easy it is and how easy it can be. A simple affirmation that I use is “I have the answer, it’s been within me all along.  I am ready and willing to listen.”

Creating this path is one of the kindest things you can do for yourself. You deserve to be happy, to have the freedom to live the life you were supposed to. The one designed specifically for you. The one that fills your purpose, that matches your core values, that is in line with who you are. The life that allows you to impact others in the way that only you can…no one else.

You are the one who needs to clear the path and the only one who can do it. It takes practice and each time it will get easier. Create space so clarity can find you. Once you create that path, you might be surprised at how simple the answers are and that you actually had the answers all along.