Your Block to Owning Your Story is...Hider
Your block to Owning Your Story is that you are a Hider.
The Hider is the “professional smiler”, the one who is always saying, “I’m good”, or “it’s not a problem, I don’t mind.” Typically as soon as it’s out of your mouth, you can feel the resentment boiling up, wondering why do I keep saying that?
As a hider, you tend to be a natural deflector. That means when someone asks you a personal question, that you immediately divert the question away from you and back onto the other person. It is a way to avoid any personal conversation and it usually happens when you are in a space of chaos or challenge and deep down you don’t want anyone to know what is going on. You don’t want others to know that you are struggling or what is going on behind “closed doors”. It is a case of fear of judgment of others, fear of their opinions, fear of looking weak, or fear of sharing your struggles with others. For the hider, the fears are real and are controlling a lot of your daily actions, choices, and decisions.
You're stuck in a loop of asking why...why is this happening to you, what did you do wrong, and feeling as though life keeps happening to you. You might be stuck in a series of thinking of self-judgment, jealousy, and justification for why things keep unfolding the way that they are in your life. Focusing on the why questions only matter when you are working towards a goal. When you are asking why something is happening to you, this question keeps you stuck in your past without any possibility of moving toward your future.
The hider has become a pro at carrying the armour, and the armour is the 20-ton shield that people use to prevent others from knowing that you are struggling. When you carry the armour, you feel like you are protecting yourself, yet you are subscribing to a “suffering in silence”, because you feel this is what your life is supposed to look like, or you’ve just become used to struggling. When you are carrying the armour, you are trying to avoid pain, judgment, or hurt, and what you are doing is blocking joy as well. We can never selectively block emotions (Brene Brown), and this is never the path to healing. To heal ourselves we must feel it to heal it and that means the good, the bad, and the ugly… the whole gamut of emotions.
"Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory." – Jim Carrey
Three quick tips to help you shift your Hider Block
1. Awareness is Key...no chance occurs without awareness of the behaviour that you are ready to change.
2. Recognize where in your life you are carrying or wearing the armour? The armour that you are using to “protect yourself” from the opinions, thoughts, or judgments of others. The armour is also blocking you from experiencing joy, love, and connection in your life.
3. When you can identify where you are carrying the armour in your life, you can recognize that the weight of it is only isolating you and contributing to your feelings of loneliness. By being open to putting the armour down, you can embrace and learn vulnerability as this is the best way to build connections. This will allow you to build your supportive inner circle. By putting down the armour, you are giving yourself the opportunity to find your army.
Wait a minute – let me introduce myself...
Hey there, I’m Marsha Vanwynsberghe 👋 I’m a Storytelling Business Coach who specializes in helping women learn to build a platform business from their stories and monetize their passions.
I am a 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”. I share my lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse that tore our family unit apart. In 2020, I also published a collaborative book called Owning Your Choices, sharing inspiring stories of courage from women around the world.
Through my tools, NLP certifications programs, coaching, and podcast, I teach the power of Radical Responsibility and Owning Your Choices in your own life. I am on a mission to empower women how to own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses to impact, serve and support others
Whatever your story is, I can help you learn to stand ON in as opposed to IN it! Friend, freedom from your story is around the corner.
Extra resources to help you learn how to own your story, work through your blocks and step into your life’s purpose...
1. Check out my podcast, Own Your Choices Own Your Life I release 3 podcasts weekly with topics ranging from finding your ownership, radical responsibility, vulnerability, triggers ,and sharing our stories. Whatever your blocks with your stories, I’ve got it covered.
2. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram to stay up to date with my social media posts. And no worries if you’re a bit late to the game – you can jump in at any point for life-transforming tips and no BS talk!
3. If you’re interested in one-on-one coaching, fill in this form, and I’ll be in contact ASAP. My sessions are designed to help you gain clarity on your current circumstances, so you can take a big, brave step forward...
