Your Block to Owning Your Story is...People Pleaser
Your block to Owning Your Story is that you are a people pleaser, and deep down you know it has been a pattern you have repeated, and deep down you are ready to stop living this way.
For the people pleaser, everyone else is a top priority and you have always lived that pattern. You don’t have time for yourself and the thought of making time for yourself feels selfish. You look at other people who do the “self-care thing” and you don't feel like you have that opportunity because you always have others to take care of. You keep telling yourself that you will get to you “later” when you have more time. When people ask you how you’re doing, your most common response is “I’m fine”, or “I don't need any help.” You might find yourself stuck in a constant cycle of resentment, anger, frustration, comparison, and guilt and this cycle will continue until you disrupt the pattern. Also, it is a slippery slope from people-pleasing into perfectionism.
These thoughts of putting others first can stem from a lack of self-worth, and these feelings of worthiness can bleed into other areas such as health, job, financial stories, and in asking for and feeling worthy of receiving support from others. The other challenge is trying to put your needs first is that there is a lack of boundaries. Boundaries are a form of self-respect and are absolutely essential when it comes to making self-care a priority.
Regarding self-care, it is important to explain the cup and saucer analogy. Most people refer to self-care as filling your cup, but what you actually need to do is fill your cup to overflow and the overflow that is in the saucer is what allows you the ability to serve others. This means asking yourself what you need on a daily basis, listening, learning, and following through with what you need. This is the start of the process of learning to say yes to yourself first before saying yes to others. The only way the world gets the best of you is if you give to yourself first.
When you start putting yourself first and putting boundaries into place it will disrupt everyone else. When you are implementing boundaries, remember that the only people who will be upset by your new boundaries, are the people who benefited by you having none in the first place.
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself" – Paulo Coelho
Three quick tips to help you shift your People Pleaser Block
1. Awareness is Key...no chance occurs without awareness of the behaviour that you are ready to change.
2. Ask what is missing in your self-care practice and what would be the top 3 things that you would need to do on a daily basis in order to be your best version possible. Now, where are those three items in your daily calendar? Scheduling yourself as a priority is a way to show that you prioritize yourself and your needs. Without scheduling it, it will never happen.
3. Look at where your boundaries are missing and one place to start is looking at what situations, people, or circumstances bring up feelings of anxiety? Those moments of anxiety are likely showing you where you are missing some boundaries. Boundaries are a form of self-respect and they are closely tied to your personal values, which we can dive into more!
Wait a minute – let me introduce myself...
Hey there, I’m Marsha Vanwynsberghe 👋 I’m a Storytelling Business Coach who specializes in helping women learn to build a platform business from their stories and monetize their passions
I am a 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”. I share my lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse that tore our family unit apart. In 2020, I also published a collaborative book called Owning Your Choices, sharing inspiring stories of courage from women around the world.
Through my tools, NLP certifications programs, coaching, and podcast, I teach the power of Radical Responsibility and Owning Your Choices in your own life. I am on a mission to empower women how to own their stories, be conscious leaders and build platform businesses to impact, serve and support others
Whatever your story is, I can help you learn to stand ON in as opposed to IN it! Friend, freedom from your story is around the corner.
Extra resources to help you learn how to own your story, work through your blocks and step into your life’s purpose...
1. Check out my podcast, Own Your Choices Own Your Life I release 3 podcasts weekly with topics ranging from finding your ownership, radical responsibility, vulnerability, triggers ,and sharing our stories. Whatever your blocks with your stories, I’ve got it covered.
2. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram to stay up to date with my social media posts. And no worries if you’re a bit late to the game – you can jump in at any point for life-transforming tips and no BS talk!
3. If you’re interested in one-on-one coaching, fill in this form, and I’ll be in contact ASAP. My sessions are designed to help you gain clarity on your current circumstances, so you can take a big, brave step forward...
