#258: Are You Keeping Shame Alive?

In this "Monday mindset'' episode, I am sharing my thoughts on shame, what it is doing to us and how we can literally change the story.  Shame according to Brene Brown is, “an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”  Shame is one of the most powerful emotions that profoundly shapes, controls and dictates the way we interact with the world. 

In today’s episode we discuss:
1) We all have shame stories.  These are the stories of struggle, the stories we feel mean that we failed or the stories we hope that no one ever actually finds out about us.  They have a tremendous hold on us and we continue to feed the story and keep it alive by hiding behind it. The armour we carry represents the shame we feel and feed in our lives.

2) We give shame its power and its hold on us when we don't talk about the difficult things in life.  We are feeding it, fueling it and literally giving it all of our power. We are the only ones who can change the story.

3) The only way to change the control shame has is to give it a voice.  When we give our story a voice, shame cannot survive. What we don't need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human. You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging. Brene Brown. This co-dependent relationship we have with shame is what is keeping the shame alive and blocking us from the connections, relationships, joy and fulfillment that we are searching for.

4) “Courage gives us a voice and compassion gives us an ear. Without both, there is no opportunity for empathy and connection.” “If we can share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can't survive.” Brene Brown

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Marsha Vanwynsberghe — Author, Speaker and Life Coach

Marsha is the 6-time Bestselling Author of “When She Stopped Asking Why”.  She shares her lessons as a parent who dealt with teen substance abuse far past the level of normal experimentation.
Through her programs, coaching and live events for women, Marsha is on a mission to teach you how to “Own Your Choices” in your own life.  She teaches women how to own their stories, lead themselves and pay it forward to others by creating businesses that serve, support and impact others